Spiritual Parenting 101

Judges 13:8-13, Gen 18:19
The privilege to have a child comes with the responsibility of raising the child aright.
Children are good gifts from God, they are not a means to our selfish ends, they are not
an extension of our personalities, they are not investments for our latter years, they are
not symbols of our social status, they are not means to accomplish the dreams or goals
we never could or paths to correct our mistakes of the past, they are in themselves
unique, special and individual souls, gifts from God to us, not necessarily for us and as
such every parent becomes a co-laborer with God in accomplishing His purpose for that
individual child.
We as parents are given the privilege and responsibility to nurture, protect, raise, train
and provide for every child He pleases to bless us with. The privilege of parenting is not
a right but a privileged blessing. Just as we will give account of every gift and potential
God has given us, so we will also account for the gift of children which God has given
us; did we plant in them the right seeds? Did we water the potentials in them?
Remember only God can give the increase, our job is to plant and water faithfully and
fully.
Spiritual parenting begins with purpose discovery. The bible says “Train up a child in the
way he (the individual child) should go”, how can you train up a child in his/her specific
part if you have no clue of it? Every meaningful life on earth sooner or later discovered
it’s purpose for living, as believers we prayed & sought God’s will for our lives, we
received a revelation of God’s particular path for us; hence we live a fulfilled,
meaningful and impactful life. As you took time to pray and discover (and are still
discovering) God’s purpose for you, so you must as a matter of responsibility seek God’s
purpose and unique calling for your child! Like Manoah (Jud 13:12) you must ask “how
shall we order the child?, In what particular manner should we train him up?”. You
should catch the vision of God for the child and not impose your vision on him/her, the
vision may not be detailed but should be enough to help you guide him/her
particularly. The parent’s of Samson knew the vision of Samson’s life (to be a deliverer)
but they had no idea how he would accomplish this (through super human strength),
unlike every other judge who had done so through military prowess, Samson was
unique.

you must ask “how shall we order the child?, In what particular manner should we train him up?”

No two kids are entirely the same, so no two kids should be trained in exactly the same
manner. A father with 10 kids should be willing to pay the price of each of the ten kids
and seek God for each child, so as to lead each child in the way that child should go.
We need realize that this is not a walk in the par or some 30-second commitment, it is a
purposeful, continual, prayerful pursuit to discover God’s unique purpose for your child,
it is responsibly taking the full responsibility you have as a parent, scriptures points out
“a child left to himself will bring shame”(prov 29:15).

Your responsibility to your child is way beyond food, clothing, education & shelter,
that’s just the beginning basics, like Abraham God should be able to boast of you “for I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him that they shall keep the way of the Lord,”.

The idea is not to impose on the child whatever you feel is God’s purpose for the child,
but to lead the child in a manner to cause that purpose to flourish, ultimately the child
will come of age and will make the choice for himself/herself the path to take, hence
having done the needful scripture says “when he is old he will not depart from it (I.e the
way he should go)”.

Understand; many children have become what God wants them to be in spite of their
parents and not because of their parents, they have despite their environment and
troublesome childhood, despite the missing father and the junky mother, despise the
negligent mom and the abusive dad become Great in the eyes of God, but remember in
the beginning it was not so; do you want to be the parent who’s children succeed in life
in spite of him/her or because of him/her?

Having this sense of definite purpose & vision of whom God would have your child be
gives direction on how to raise the little rugrat according to his/her uniqueness; while
others may be sending their kids to summer camp, you’re sending yours to music
school because you have perceived by revelation or observation his/her gifting or
calling, he’s only ten (10) years old yet he can balance an account book because you’ve
seen the sharp business mogul in him and encouraged him there, bedtime stories are
targeted, gifts are on purpose, toys are specific, the list goes on and on. In addition to
the general childhood all kids should have you ares specifically, prayerfully carving out a
specific niche.

As I summarize this article, let me point out something about distractions; don’t be
distracted, refuse to be distracted! I personally believe for the christian a lot of what is
happening in the world is nothing more than distractions, economic recession is a
distraction, political upheavals is a distraction, illness is a distraction, Insecurity is a
distraction etc. when you don’t have enough money to feed your home, you become so
preoccupied with that challenge that you ignore other areas, when you get caught up
with the politics that you have no time to train the kids, you’re distracted, when you
have to take two jobs morning and night shifts, so you have enough money to send
your kids to school, yet you have no clue what is being taught your kids, you have no
idea what they watch on TV or have time to stay and even play with the kids, trust me,
you’re being distracted, when you’re trying to keep up with the Jones you’re distracted,
when you’re too sick to think, it’s also a distraction.

Am I saying quit your job and throw away your livelihood? No! I’m simply saying realize
you’re being distracted, this is one of the reasons why God wants us to prosper and
have our minds renewed, this is why He promises us blessings beyond our ability, so
that we can be empowered to carry out the true ministries of our lives, to thrive and
not be bugged down with mere survival. So the preacher can preach without
wondering about the bills of the ministry, so the mother can mother without fearing for
the needs of her household, so the father can father (forgive my expressions) without
wondering if he’ll be alive to see his daughter’s next birthday because of the sickness
ravaging his body.

The question for us when we give account of our lives will not be how many figures was
your salary, it’ll be what did you do with the gifts I gave you? Including the gift of
children, hence we must buckle up in all areas; spiritually, mentally, financially,
physically etc maintaining a perfect balance because each area of our lives, lives of the
other areas of our lives, all for the purpose of God’s purpose in our lives. So if you’re in
any of this distracting situations, do not fear, that is why the Light of God’s Word comes;
to expose the darkness and drive away the darkness; God still does miracles and is able
to do beyond what you can even ask or imagine; look into His perfect Word of liberty
and see yourself healthy, prosperous, focused and thriving and declare this truth in
faith, He’s not going to give you these things for He already has, believe it, receive it
and in Faith thank Him for it.

maintaining a perfect balance because each area of our lives, lives of the
other areas of our lives, all for the purpose of God’s purpose in our lives

Your kids are gifts from God and you have great power over them and with this great
power comes great responsibility, responsibility to pray & intercede them into the
kingdom, responsibility to provide & protect, responsibility to love and to cherish,
responsibility to discipline & to correct, responsibility as a father to model the heavenly
father to them and as a mother to model El-Shaddai to them, responsibility to train
them up in the way each unique & individual child should go, not by your might,
wisdom or power but by the Spirit of God. Tis our responsibility but tis also our great
privilege (not to mention all the fun along the way).

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